Why Am I Being Treated Unfairly?

Lessons from the Dreamer Joseph

We are part of a culture that promotes, even glamorizes victimhood. It doesn’t take much: we’re ignored, someone makes a nasty comment, a so-called friend stabs us in the back, someone is jealous or hateful toward us. This stuff hurts and we immediately bristle with thoughts that we’re being treated unfairly. We quickly go on the defensive and feel victimized.

But we’ve all been there. Surely, we’ve all felt the trauma inflicted by other people which lead to the inevitable question of why life seems unfair at times; thoughts that provoke anger, sadness, jealousy. Why is this happening to me? Or, why did they say or do that to me? Why is there no justice? Why are the wicked prospering and why is evil prevailing? Why is this all so unfair?

But is life really unfair? What do we think is fair? What do we actually deserve?

God sees how we’re treated. God hears these questions. He is not blind and He is not deaf. He is not distant. He loves us, and He does what is necessary in His time frame for our good and for His own glory. Eventually, the wicked will fall and the righteous will be victorious. God has a distinct purpose in the things that happen to us, including how we are treated by other people.

Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.

For evildoers will be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land.

The Lord knows the days of the blameless, and their inheritance will be forever. They will not be ashamed in the time of evil, and in the days of famine they will have abundance.
Psalm 37:7,9,18-19

The Story of Joseph
Out of the fifty chapters in Genesis, fourteen of them are used to tell the story of Joseph. He is mentioned several times leading up to the actual account of his interesting life, but the last third of Genesis details the events in at least two major sections:

Seventeen to thirty years old – unfair treatment
Thirty years old to death – prosperity, blessings and rewards

Consider Joseph’s Ill Treatment
1). Joseph was hated by his brothers. Enough that they would plot to kill him, but eventually sold him to a caravan of Midianites.
2). He was falsely accused of sexually attacking Potiphar’s wife and thrown into prison.
3). He was forgotten in prison by those he helped.

Lessons Learned from the Joseph’s Life
We may never know why people treat us the way they do (other than the fact that we live in a fallen world). We cannot make their decisions for them or be responsible for their behavior. However, we can choose how to respond. There are key principles we can learn from the life of Joseph that are helpful in forming a godly response to bad treatment.

1). We have to accept that some things are out of our control. Admittedly, the brothers were angry because of how their father showed personal favoritism to Joseph. Although they were responsible for their own actions, Jacob’s horrible parenting skills were not without consequence, affecting the whole family dynamic.
2). We must choose our words wisely! Joseph told his family the dreams that indicated he would rule over them. “They hated him even more for his dreams and for his words” (Genesis 37:8). The things we say, along with the actions we take and the attitudes we have will most assuredly affect how others treat us.
3). We need to do our part. How we are treated ‘may’ depend on how we physically interact with others, especially when there is work to do. Joseph was at home while his brothers were out tending to the flocks. We could ask the question, ‘why was he not out doing the hard work with them?’ We may be treated differently if we’re not carrying our fair share of the load.
4). Live a life of integrity. Our integrity is on display in hard times, especially amid false accusations. When Joseph was approached by the wife of Potiphar, he responded to her by saying ‘How could I do this great evil and sin against God?’ (Genesis 39:9). Integrity says, ‘I will not cave in to temptation because doing so would be an act of evil against God’.
5). Run away from sin. In the midst of unfair treatment, fleeing from sin is the only option. Joseph ran out of the house when Potiphar’s wife persisted (Genesis 39:13). When we feel like we are getting a raw deal, sin may be crouching at the door: it could be revengeful thoughts, hatred or discouragement. But whatever it is, we cannot let it overtake us. Flee. Run.
6). Understand that persecution is a part of the Christian life. Stop being so sensitive about how you’re treated. Too much inward reflection and hurt feelings is selfishness in disguise. We must accept the fact that, as followers of Christ, we will be persecuted. Joseph was thrown into prison for something he didn’t do. Unfair?! Yes! We could face prison for our faith, especially during a time when Christianity is under attack like never before in our country. Are you ready to endure the unfair treatment of being tossed into jail for your faith? Getting to that point prepares us to endure lesser persecution.
7). Use your alone time wisely. Joseph was forgotten in prison. Even Jesus was despised, rejected and forsaken. Nobody wants to feel alone. Nobody wants to be deserted. But we can use the time alone to grow closer to the Lord and prepare for the next season of life. God had big plans for Joseph. He would soon be the second in command of the land of Egypt. To get there, God had to do some work in Joseph’s life. Being isolated by unfair treatment doesn’t have to be something to discourage us. We must use that time wisely, looking to God intently, and preparing diligently for what is next.
8). We must realize that unfair treatment is ultimately God’s plan. Not that He is endorsing this sort of sinful behavior, but rather using it for his own glory. It is a harsh but beautiful reality, that God causes all things to work for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28). This means that God uses even the horrible things to bring about amazing things. The terrible things that happened to Joseph had to happen in order to bring about the preservation of life in Egypt (Genesis 45:5). The brothers didn’t send Joseph to Egypt, God did (Genesis 45:8).
9). Seek God’s purpose. We should look for God in the broader picture when we feel as though life is unfair. What even is ‘unfair’? We have an extremely skewed vision in our minds about what we deserve and what we don’t deserve. Our goal should be to look at God and position ourselves in a spot where we accept being used by Him as a tool to accomplish His greater purpose.

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.
Joseph, Genesis 50:20

Remember This
1). Live a life of integrity
2). Brace for persecution
3). Seek God’s ultimate plan

Other Lessons in this Series
Is There Truth Anymore? Lessons on the Reliability of Scripture
Why Am I Being Treated Unfairly? Lessons from the Dreamer Joseph
Why Am I Afraid? Lessons from Shepherd Moses
What Can I Learn from Despair? Lessons from the Prophet Elijah
Where is Joy and Peace? Lessons from the Apostle Paul
What is My Purpose in Life? Lessons from Queen Esther